Oh So Demode...

 

 

Karl Lagerfeld has, over the years, provided a lot of memorable quotes. Often criticised for his 'views',  I say take everything he says with a pinch of salt. After all, being serious is oh so boring and so demode...

On private jets: 
“I very much like the people in Houston, but I will not change in the pee-pee room of the Atlanta airport. I have to have a private jet,” 

On the recent financial crisis:
“This whole crisis is like a big spring housecleaning – both moral and physical. There is no creative evolution if you don’t have dramatic moments like this. Bling is over. Red carpets covered with rhinestones are out. I call it the 'New Modesty.'" 

On Yves Saint Laurent:
"He is very middle-of-the-road French-very pied-noir, very provincial"

On Heidi Klum:
"I don't know Heidi Klum. She was never known in France. Claudia Schiffer also doesn't know who she is."

On Andy Warhol:

"I shouldn't say this, but physically he was quite repulsive."

On body odour:

“Yesterday [at the Chanel couture show] I had a problem. I said, ‘I’m sorry, you’ve got to tell this woman that she needs to be taken away. Her smell is not possible.’”

On iPods:
 "The iPod is genius. I have 300"

On living in the present:
“The worst thing is when friends say, ‘Remember the good old days?’ Forget about the good old days! That just makes your present second-hand. What is interesting is now. If you think it was better before, then you might as well commit suicide immediately.”

On individual style:
"Chic is a kind of mayonnaise, either it tastes, or it doesn't''

  
On interview etiquette:

"I had an interview once with some German journalist - some horrible, ugly woman. It was in the early days after the communists - maybe a week after - and she wore a yellow sweater that was kind of see-through. She had huge tits and a huge black bra, and she said to me, 'It's impolite; remove your glasses.' I said, 'Do I ask you to remove your bra?'."

On homosexuality:
"When I was a child I asked my mother what homosexuality was about and she said - and this was 100 years ago in Germany and she was very open-minded - 'It's like hair colour. It's nothing. Some people are blonde and some people have dark hair. It's not a subject.' This was a very healthy attitude."

On crime:

"Frustration is the mother of crime, and so there would be much more crime without prostitutes and without porn movies."

  
On phones:

"I send notes. I'm not a chambermaid whom you can ring at every moment. Today, you know, most people act like they work at a switchboard in a hotel."

On spending money:

"If you throw money out of the window throw it out with joy. Don’t say 'one shouldn’t do that' - that is bourgeois"

On fur:

 "The discussion of fur is childish" 

On weightloss:

“I lost 200lb to wear suits by Hedi Slimane”   

On short people:
"Life is not a beauty contest, some [ugly people] are great. What I hate is nasty, ugly people... the worst is ugly, short men. Women can be short, but for men it is impossible. It is something that they will not forgive in life... they are mean and they want to kill you."

On his lack of social life:
“I live in certain isolation. I never take appointments in the morning. I leave my house only after lunch. I don’t want to have a social life. I’ve had enough of that in my life. It’s demode. It’s another era. Perhaps people are still excited by that era, but not me. It’s uninteresting today. It says nothing. It’s boring, pretentious and vulgar.”

On flying:
“Also I cannot go on airlines because people stare at me, you have to be touched by people. I hate that…I hate bespoke because I hate to be touched by strangers. It bores me to death.”

On florals: 
"Florals are for middle-aged women with weight problems."